Fade
by thegirlwhoflew
Summary: Emily fades. Dark themes.
1. Chapter 1

_This is random and dark. They're in high school for this. I may continue, I may not. _

_I don't own criminal minds. _

"Emily, let me in. What's wrong?" JJ pounds on my door.

I can't do this now. She needs to go. I wrap my legs in my arms and nestle my chin on my knees. I can feel my pulse, hear it even, and it makes me smile sadly.

"I'm fine, Jay, I just don't feel good," I yell to her.

Warm and red, it runs down my arms, gliding across my legs. The numbness starts in my arm, but my mind seems freed of the fog.

"Em, babe, let me in now. I'll get the key," JJ warns.

"Jennifer, just go," I beg, wishing she wasn't here, that she didn't care about me. It only makes it more painful for both of us.

"Emily, what's happening?" JJ asks, her voice rising into hysteria.

"Something that should've happened a long time ago," I whisper, letting my eyes flutter shut. My pulse is weakening and I can still feel the blood pulsing. I can hear JJ yelling, but it is very far away. I'm slowly slipping and it feels so great.

…


	2. Chapter 2

I slip into consciousness and there are shapes moving. And noises. I ignore them though. Why can't I go back to the dark?

…

The light hurts. I try to close my eyes, but I feel a hand on mine and I look up.

"Alligator, thank God you're awake," Courtney says, rubbing my hand.

My mouth is dry. I try to ask with my eyes though.

"Jennifer," she states. I look away. "Don't worry. She's fine. She's just worried about you. She just almost knocked the door in until she figured out which key it was."

Why did she have to be there? She was supposed to be at school. I told her I was sick and couldn't give her a ride. Why did she do this? Couldn't she let me fucking die in peace?

"I should warn you; you're mother is flying in as we speak," Courtney informs me.

"Fuck," I whisper, my voice raspy and croaky.

"Pretty much. Get some rest. You'll need it."

…

"I left her with you. You were supposed to take care of her! What the fuck went wrong. She's only seventeen for Christ's sake!"

"Maybe if you ever actually talked to her, you would know that she's fucking clinically depressed. Instead, when she makes you look bad, you drop her at her aunt's house and hope it all gets better."

"Don't tell me how to treat my daughter!"

"You don't get the right to call her your daughter. You practically disowned her, just like mom and dad disowned me," Courtney fights back against my mother.

"You listen here," my mother starts.

"Stop," I try. They both halt and look at me. "I have a fucking headache. Do that somewhere else."

"Honey, I'm so sorry," my mother sweetly apologizes. "How are you feeling?"

"Fantastic," I reply. Her face turns from fake smile to annoyance.

"Really mature," she says.

"If you aren't going to be supportive, leave," Courtney jumps to my defense.

"Oh, because you and your girlfriend are going to be super supportive? I should just take Emily back."

"No," I whisper. They both whip around to look at me. "Please leave my room. I'm tired."

They share a look and my mother follows Courtney out. And I get to sleep more.


	3. Chapter 3

I open my eyes to meet a deep blue.

"She said that she's taking you. Don't go. Please," Jennifer begs.

I have to turn away from her. "It's not my decision. She's my mom. I don't have a choice," I whisper.

"Fight harder. Courtney, Melissa and I need you," she pleads.

"Just go Jennifer. It's not worth it. I'm not worth it. I love you, but you can do better. You can find someone better."

"Emily Elizabeth Prentiss that is the most idiotic thing you've ever said. We can get through this, okay? I'll love you no matter what."

I can't take it. She shouldn't see me this way, with stitches covering my arm and hooked up to wires. No one can change the Ambassador's mind once it's been set. And she shouldn't be with someone like me; someone who can't even off themselves properly.

"Just go Jen," I whisper, tears falling down my cheeks.

"Who are you?" My mother's sharp voice snaps into the room.

"Go Jennifer, just leave," I say again, almost angrily. She doesn't need to meet the Ambassador.

"Yes, please leave. I need to get Emily packed up," my mother says.

I look up now and see Jennifer's eyes watering. Our eyes meet and I can feel the pain.

"Bye, Emily. You're the best thing to happen to me. I love you," she says, before turning and walking out of my hospital room.

"Well, that was interesting. Now, I'm flying you to DC where there's a better hospital and care. On Thursday I'm flying to Brazil. You can meet me there when you're ready. Courtney helped me pack your things. Let's go," my mother says authoritatively.

"Yes mother," I say.


	4. Chapter 4

_Sorry for taking so long to update. School's rough right now. _

…

"Our press liaison Jennifer Jereau will show you around," Aaron Hotchner tells me as a knock comes at his door. My jaw drops. And then I hear the sweetest voice imaginable.

"Hotch, we got a case."

"Okay. Prentiss, I will inform you of when you need to report in," Hotch ends, standing and shaking my hand.

"Thank you sir," I manage to say.

"Em?"

"Hey Jen. What's up?" I smile.

"I, uh, oh my God," she sputters.

"This is not the time ladies. JJ, we need to set everyone briefed," Hotch interrupts.

"I'll see you later," I say leaving her and my new boss as I walk out the door, trying to look calm, cool, and collected. As soon as I hit the elevator though, my hands start shaking. I can't believe she's here. And still so, so beautiful.

But, I haven't talked to her in twenty years. And she knows too much about my past. Without thinking I trace my scar through my sleeve. At least she doesn't know what I got into after I left her.

…


	5. Chapter 5

_Updating quickly because of guilt. Thank you for reviewing. Next chapter will be really good and up soonish. _

...

"Go and dance with someone," Allie yells at me over the heavy music. I roll my eyes.

"I don't really feel like it," I say, hoping she'll back off. There's only one girl on my mind. But when I look at Allie, she's not paying me any attention; instead, her eyes are fixed over my shoulder.

I turn and meet a deep blue.

"That girl is damn fine," Allie comments.

"I'll tell Katherine you said that," I threaten, smiling. Allie makes a face at me.

Jennifer continues walking over but she seems… nervous?

"Jen, what are you doing here?" I ask, standing from my stool at the bar to hug her.

"It was an intense case," she replies, returning my hug. "I need to get out. Um, how are you?" She asks and I can detect how edgy she is. I rub her arm gently without thinking and smile.

"I'm good. Listen, do you want to get out of here and grab a coffee?"

Jennifer's eyes dart to Allie and I laugh.

"She has a pregnant wife to get home to," I explain, "she'll be fine without me."

Jennifer smiles widely and agrees to get a coffee.

"Bye Allie," I say. She winks at me and waves me off.

…


	6. Chapter 6

We're sitting in a funky coffee shop right around the corner from the club. Jennifer looks amazing wearing a strappy black top and skin tight jeans.

"Um, I was in Barcelona for senior year, took a year off before college and then went to Yale," I explain hesitantly.

"What did you do in your year off," JJ asks curiously, obviously not knowing that it wouldn't be a good answer.

"Drugs and women. A lot of both," I confess. I could never lie to Jen. "Eventually rehab."

I feel a warm hand cover mine and I look up, startled.

"You're better now, right?"

"Yep. All clean except the occasional drink and cigarette. So, how about you?"

"Valedictorian, soccer scholarship, all that," JJ shrugs. "You went one way, and I went the other; throwing myself into school, soccer, and extracurricular activities."

"Good. I'm glad. You were always good at those things." I notice her looking at my arm, so I hold it up. "You can barely see it anymore. My mother wanted plastic surgery, but I said no," I say. Her finger traces the white scar and I shiver under her touch.

"I was so scared," she admits.

"I know. I'm so sorry," I whisper. Her fingers combine with mine and she smiles shyly at me.

"Isn't it crazy? After all these years we end up in the same job. I missed you. You're still the same, you know?"

I raise an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Still a little cocky on the outside, but soft and sweet and even a bit nerdy on the inside. Your walls are stronger though. I bet no one gets through them," she states honestly and I look away. "But, your tits look even better than before," she comments and I snort with laughter.

"Thank you. I try," I joke.

"See, you're still sarcastic and cynical and try to deflect compliments or too honest comments."

"You always saw through my bullshit," I smile. "But you haven't changed much either. You're nurturing and charming, but you have this fire that can scare the toughest men on your team," I tell her.

"Our team, Em."

"Right. Except, you know, they won't trust me at first," I comment. "Especially Hotch."

"No, they won't. Hotch, Gideon and Morgan keep themselves well guarded. Reid, on the other hand, will warm up to you quickly. And Garcia will love you."

"Good to know," I respond.

Her hand is still locked with mine and I feel comfort for the first time in awhile. I watch as she yawns and smile at how cute she is.

"It's two in the morning and I live on the other side of town," she says through a second yawn.

"I live about three blocks down if you need to crash," I offer.

"You live in this neighborhood?"

I nod.

"How? It's impossible to find a place around here. But yeah, I'll crash on your sofa."

"I have a guest room."

"Even better."


	7. Chapter 7

_Sorry for taking a while to upload. This is flashback to high school. Yay. Don't own 'em. _

"You may come in now," a voice from inside the office says. I roll my eyes and walk into the principal's office. He looks me up and down and I can feel him adjust to me.

"Right, so, Ms. Prentiss, here is your schedule. And a new student aide is being sent over to show you around. Now, I understand you're living with your aunt?"

"Yes sir."

"Okay, so I think you're good to go," he says, standing.

"Thank you sir," I smile politely.

"Ah, and here she is. This is JJ; JJ meet Emily Prentiss."

I turn and face a beautiful girl. Long blonde hair, deep blue eyes, and a lean, athletic figure make me almost swoon.

"Um, hi," I start, tearing my eyes away from hers.

"Hi. Come on, I'll show you around," she smiles. Oh God, her smile is amazing. She leads me out of the front office and down a hallway. She takes my schedule and scans it quickly.

"Okay, this," she says pointing to a door on our right, "is your English class. So, where did you live before moving here?"

"Italy. And before that Brazil, DC, France, and Egypt," I reply.

"For real?"

"Yep."

"Why are you here then? This town blows," JJ asks. I immediately put up my defenses.

"My mom had a new assignment and didn't want me tagging along so I'm stuck with my aunt for awhile," I shrug. That was sort of the truth.

"What kind of assignment? Oh, and here's your math. We have that class together."

"Oh, cool. But she's an ambassador."

"No way. That's awesome. It's so cool you got to grow up in all those places. I would kill to get out of here," JJ exclaims.

"It was… educational. But I sort of envy people who grow up with the same people their whole lives. Permanent fixtures and all."

I can feel her looking at me but I avoid eye contact. I gave up too much personal information. I looked weak.

"I guess that's true," she says softly before waving towards a class room. "That's your AP US History class. We have it together too. So, you're staying with your aunt right?"

"Yeah, Courtney."

"She's my godmother," JJ says brightly. "I love her and Melissa. I'll probably be at your house all the time."

"Yeah, they seem pretty cool so far. I've never really met them before but they seem nice."

"You never met them before?"

"Courtney was disowned."

"Why?"

"She's gay," I say. I see JJ falter a bit.

"Does your family not like gays?"

"Um, my mom and her parents are very, very conservative. I, on the other hand, am gay, so that creates a fun family dynamic," I tell her. It's a new town and I might as well get that out of the way early on.

"Oh, okay. It was about to get really awkward for us to be friends," JJ sighed. I looked at her and she notices.

"I'm also gay. Now I'm not the only lesbian in the school. We also have four gay guys. And that's all," JJ laughs bitterly.

"Damn," I comment.

"I know. So, this is your art class. And that's all. But, school is almost over so it'll be pointless going to class. Wanna go drive around?"

"Um, yeah, sure."

JJ smiles at me and takes my hand, dragging me along with her. I feel like I could get used to that.

…


	8. Chapter 8

_Hello guys. This is an angsty chapter I suppose. Also it's a high school one. Enjoy. _

"Emily, honey, Jen is here," Melissa calls me.

"Okay Mel, I'll be done in a second," I yell back. JJ is here for dinner. I've only been here for a few months, but Jen and I have sort of started dating. We spend all our time together and have random make out sessions. It's not technically official though, so we're not really in a relationship.

I throw on my jacket and hop down the stairs. JJ looks beautiful, as always, in a blue button down and denim shorts. I wrap my arms around her waist from behind when I approach. She leans her head back on me and gestures to my aunts.

Melissa and Courtney are standing side by side at the kitchen counter, passing things back and forth, preparing for dinner.

"They're so cute and comfortable together," Jennifer says, tilting her head up to me.

"I know. They really are," I whisper into her skin before I press a kiss to her forehead.

"Look what my niece and goddaughter are doing," Courtney exclaims. JJ and I break apart and blush while Melissa laughs and swats my aunt on the shoulder.

"Come on girls, help set the table," Melissa says. Jen and I scurry to get all the food on the table and we all sit down to eat.

Melissa and Courtney pester JJ about school and me, but she takes it all in stride, occasionally shooting glances at me as I smirk.

"Let's question Emily here," JJ finally says. Melissa and Courtney grin.

"Emily never tells us anything," Courtney says, rolling her eyes.

"Really?" JJ asks, curious.

"She's tight lipped," Melissa adds.

"I guess you're right. We've never really talked about your past," Jennifer starts. "Mostly just school and me."

"There's not much to say," I beg. Please, please, please, please, please don't do this.

"You've lived all over the world. Of course there's something to say," she exclaims. "Okay, tell me the craziest thing you did?" Everyone leans in eagerly.

"You really want to know," I ask aggressively. Melissa and Courtney sit up a little, obviously noticing my change in tone.

"Yes," JJ repeats, not thinking too much about my tone.

"So, I was fucking this one girl right, and she takes me to this crazy, underground club one night. So the music was so loud and everyone was on everyone and, God, it was insane. Anyway, my girl pulls me to the back and we get really fucked up. Like, booze, weed, dropping acid, and all that good stuff. So we go back to the dance floor and oh my god, Jen, it was ridiculous. We literally fucked on the dance floor. The feeling was incredible. Oh, also, that was the night I first did heroin. God, Jen, it was so great. It was after dancing for hours and God, when she shot me up, it like the first time I've breathed. We stayed at her house for days getting fucked up. So that girl was probably the craziest thing I did. Italians are very beautiful," I end before standing up.

"There's a reason I haven't said much. Ever think of that," I say quietly and turn and walk out the front door and get on my BMW motorcycle. I quickly snap on the helmet and drive off, ignoring Courtney yelling for me.

…

I come home an hour later, my body sore from riding. I quietly open the door, trying to remain innocuous, but Courtney is right there.

"Hey Alligator," she says, my nickname soft in her mouth. At least she's not mad, but I really don't want her pity and disappointment.

"I'm sorry Court," I whisper, hanging my head. She quickly envelopes me in her arms and I relax into her touch. But tears start to rise in my eyes so I pull back.

"Don't be sorry. I understand why you did it. I'm sorry," she says, grasping my chin with her fingers and making me face her. Her eyes are wide and honest and I try and look away. "Jennifer is in the other room with Melissa," she tells me. I step backwards.

"I can't see her after what I said. God, why is she still here?" I start to panic.

"She's here because she deeply cares for you and needs to see you to make sure you're okay," Courtney informs me authoritatively. I close my eyes and breathe in for ten seconds, and out for ten seconds.

"Okay. I can do this."

I walk into the living room and see Jen's head resting against Melissa's shoulder as Mel strokes her hair softly.

"Hey," I say. JJ's head shoots up and they both twist to look at me. "Um, can we talk?"

Jen nods and stands. She doesn't look angry like I thought she would, but she looks sad. Which I think is worse.

Melissa mouths "I love you," at me and I try to smile back.

Jayje takes hold of my arm and pulls me up the stairs. I smile when she does that. She does it all the time and usually I pretend to complain.

Suddenly I'm in my room and Jennifer is hugging me.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry babe. I didn't mean to push you. I'm sorry I made you remember," JJ cries into my shoulder. I protectively wrap my arms around her and rub her back.

"It's okay babe. Don't worry. I'm fine. I'm sorry for snapping like that. You didn't need to hear that," I whisper into her hair. She hugs me tighter still.

"Yes, I do. I need to know everything about you. Don't hide from me. Please," she begs.

I can feel my heart breaking and my walls coming down.

"I'll try Jennifer," I promise. "C'mon, let's lay down. It's been a long day." I guide her to my bed and we lay down. I quietly hold her until she falls asleep. Then, I'm left with my own thoughts.

I shouldn't have accepted that needle. Everything would've been better if I never met heroin. Well, things wouldn't have been great, but it'd be more manageable. Even before I took a ride, things were dark and I was always looking for an escape. Alcohol, weed, and sex alleviated the pain. But nothing did it like H. But when I got off in small escape attempts, the darkness would come harder and faster and I would fall back.

I shook my head, trying to get the thoughts out of my head and curl around Jennifer even more. Eventually, I fall into a restless sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

"Can you get me a glass of wine?" JJ asks.

"No problem babe," I say absent mindedly. Then I realize what I said and blush deeply.

"I missed that," JJ says softly.

"I'll go grab your wine," I reply, completely flustered. I go to my kitchen and take deep breaths while pouring two very full glasses or red.

When I return to my living room, Jen accepts the wine and I sit back on the couch, putting space between JJ and myself. After a minute of awkward silence, JJ puts her glass down and takes mine from me and places it away too.

"Emily, don't be embarrassed. Don't hide behind those walls with me. I've always loved when you call me that. Look at me Em," JJ commands, cupping my face and turning it towards her. Her blue eyes bore into mine and I can feel her care and compassion.

"Jayje, there's too much history. And so much old pain. And I'm not good enough Jen. You're amazing and deserve someone amazing."

"Don't be an idiot Emily. Our history only makes us stronger. I have never stopped loving you. It's been almost a year since you joined the team and every day I see you only reinforce that love. You _are_ amazing Emily. If anything, I should be intimidated. You're both beautiful and so damn intelligent. Not to mention you come from a powerful family and are so worldy. But I don't care Em. We are right for each other and you know it too. You don't need to give me an answer now. I know how hard it is for you to do this. But just know that I'll be waiting," she finishes with tears in her eyes.

I'm at a loss for words. I'm too scared to give her what she wants, regardless of the fact that I feel the same way. Luckily, JJ knows me so well so she puts a finger to my lips before taking my hand and leading me to my room.

We change clothes in silence. She has left clothes here and always has something to change into. Tonight she dons an XL Yale tee shirt that used to be mine. I can see her eyes flick over me quickly, taking in my boxers and black tank top.

We climb into bed and she curls her back into my front. I drape my arms over her and pull her closer. She grasps one arm and slowly strokes my scar. Placing a gentle kiss on it, she whispers, "Goodnight."

Neither of us fall asleep though. Instead, JJ continues stroking my scar with her soft hands and our breathing syncs together. I can't stop staring at the top of her head, amazed that she could still want me after everything horrible I've done.

We eventually do drift off to sleep and when I wake up, she's still waiting for me.


	10. Chapter 10

A note gets thrown on my desk. I turn and look at JJ, rolling my eyes, but I open it.

_Tonight Em. I've decided. _

I take a deep breath and look at Jayje again. Her eyes tell me she's dead set and not budging.

_Are you sure? Don't do anything you don't want to do. This is a onetime thing and I don't want you to regret it. _

I flip the paper to her. It comes back quickly.

_Even though you think it's insane, I love you. You're it. Please. _

This is insane. She shouldn't love me. But I love her. Biting my lip, I turn to her and nod my agreement.


	11. Chapter 11

"Wake up Jayje," I whisper into her hair. She stirs and I feel her stretch her torso under my hands which rests on her stomach and her hips.

"It's early," she mumbles. I laugh. It's 7:15.

"We have work babe," I remind her.

"Fine, fine," she sighs, sitting up. She looks so cute with her messy hair and rumpled clothes that I can't help but smile. I pull her out of bed myself when I realize she isn't going to get up by herself. She starts laughing when she realizes I'm carrying her to the bathroom.

"Emily Prentiss, don't do it!" she squeals as I step into the shower. She yells louder and tightens her hold around my neck as I turn the water on. JJ tucks her head into my neck and lets out a yelp as I start laughing.

"Emily Prentiss!" she scolds. I gently lower her down and we stand together in the warm water. She's still scowling at me, but I'm grinning widely.

Suddenly, right as Jen is about to tell me off, I lean forward and capture her lips with mine. It starts slowly, but gradually grows more passionate as she holds the back of my head and pulls me in further.

When we pull back we smile shyly at each other for a moment before JJ leans back in to place a sweet, simple kiss on my lips.

"I really missed that," JJ sighs. I nod, still holding her close before I realize we still have clothes on and are soaking wet with the shower running. JJ notices too and pulls off the big tee she has on. My breath catches when I see her creamy skin, lithe body, and dark pink nipples.

Jen comes toward me and fingers the hem of my tank top, but I stop her.

"We're going to be late for work," I say simply and climb out of the shower, leaving her standing there.

I quickly change into work clothes before JJ walks in, but when she does, she's stark naked and mad.

"Em, what the fuck?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just, panicked," I say, trying not to stare at her body.

"It's not like I haven't seen you naked before."

"I know. But, I look different now," I say quietly, ashamed. "And you're still so pretty."

JJ comes towards me quickly, grasping my hand and looking me straight in the eye.

"It's not your body I fell in love with Em, though it is gorgeous, it's you. You'll always be beautiful to me," she says sincerely. "You don't have to show me now, but I hope you will soon. I love you, no matter what."

I pull her closer and kiss her, resting my hands on her slim hips.

"Thank you," I sigh, resting my forehead against hers. "And I will. Just give me time. Also, please put on clothes because you are killing me. Too fucking beautiful Jen," I say, finally letting my eyes scan her body.

She laughs, kissing me once more before going and putting on clothes.

…

I knock on Jay's door before opening it. She looks up and smiles tiredly, folding one of the many folders on her desk.

"Busy?" I ask.

"Eh, I need a break," she says, sitting back in her chair and looking up at me.

"You wanna stop by tonight? I have a surprise for you," I say.

"Does it involve you taking your shirt off?" She teases, not thinking that would be the answer. It's been a week since my fuck-up and I could sort of tell JJ was impatient about it, but sweetly she wouldn't push it. She did, on the other hand, walk around my apartment topless often, but that may be more because I love her boobs and often do things that show that.

"It actually does. So… yeah. Also, I'm making dinner to celebrate our weekend off. That last case was fucking horrible. Women raped and sliced open. I shake my head to get the images out.

"You okay? I mean, I'm excited about it, but we don't have to."

"Oh no. Sorry, I was just thinking about the last case. Don't worry about it. But I want tonight to happen," I say, trying not to focus on work and how shitty I feel about the last one.

"Em, come here," JJ says and I step closer. She stands, brushes hair from my face and kisses me. "It's okay to show that things get to you," she tells me, her breath against my lips.

"I know."

"No, you don't. You still think you have to keep your emotions bottled up," she says honestly.

I shrug. It's easier my way. JJ rolls her eyes and kisses me again, this time a little more intensely.

She pulls back, saying, "See you tonight."


	12. Chapter 12

_High school: _

…

"Jayje, are you sure?" I ask, pulling back from the heated kiss.

"Emily, you've asked a billion times," she says, her voice dark and raspy. "I want you."

I nod slowly and start trailing kisses down her neck and into the valley between her breasts. She lets out a soft whimper that drives me crazy. I let my tongue draw circles around one of her dusky nipples and let my fingers of one hand caress her hip. She arches up towards me begs me to do more.

I relent and pull her nipple into my mouth, swirling my tongue around the bud. I moan into her as JJ grabs the back of my head and pulls me closer into her. I gently nip and she moans even louder.

"You, shirt off," she commands me. I laugh and pull my shirt over my head. When I look into Jen's eyes, I see they have gotten even darker than before and she pulls me back in for a kiss. While our tongues were battling, I trail my fingers down her stomach, feeling her muscles shudder delightfully. I reach her panties and she raises her legs to let me slip them off.

Her breath hitches when I tease her thighs. And she moans when I trace her slit with one finger. Gently, I touch her clit and she arches dangerously. I let my finger slide closer to her center and she cries out.

"God, Jennifer, you're so wet," I remark.

"Mm, Em, please," she barely responds. I tease her more, only to make sure she really is good to go.

"Are you positive?"

"Please God, Em, fuck me." With that, I place my finger in my mouth, thoroughly lubricating it, before placing it at her entrance.

"Just tell me to stop if it hurts. I love you," I whisper, pushing one finger in. JJ whimpers loudly, and for a second her face grimaces. I stop immediately.

"Keep going. Please," she tells me. And I do, softly going in and out. I lower myself down on the bed and pull her clit into my mouth. She cries out in pleasure and increases the tempo. Slowly JJ reaches her peak and moans my name loudly.

Her chest still rapidly rising and falling, I wait until she calms a bit to pull out my finger. I clean her of her juices though and marvel at how good she tastes.

I climb up beside her and let her rest in my arms as she gathers herself.

"Emily," she starts.

"Yes?"

"Thank you. I love you."

"I love you too babe. So much. I'm sorry if it hurt at all."

"Just for a second, but you made it go away," she smiles at me and kisses me softly.

"I'll try to do that anytime something hurts," I promise.


	13. Chapter 13

"I'll be right there," I yell out when I hear the knock at my door. I straighten the cutlery on the table and run to open the door. JJ smiles broadly when she sees me and gives me a quick peck.

"What smells divine?" She wonders.

"That would be shrimp and asparagus paella," I tell her, taking her coat.

"Aw, from your Barcelona days?"

"Yep. When I wasn't shooting heroin I was often in the kitchen," I joke. She rolls her eyes and takes a seat at the table and lets me get the wine and plates ready. I feel my phone vibrate and check it really quick.

_Derek Morgan: Get it girl… :D _

_Emily Prentiss: Shut up player ;)_

I have to laugh at Morgan's stupid texts. He sort of knows the story and knows about JJ and I being pretty much together now. He's the only one I've told, but JJ has probably told Garcia. The text did ease my nerves a bit and I hurry setting the table.

Finally, when we're all settled, we dig in.

"God Em, I sometimes forget how good of a cook you are," Jayje moans.

"You need to stop making those kinds of noises," I tell her, rolling my eyes. She grins mischievously and when she takes another bite moans loudly.

"Sorry, it's just so good," she teases. I laugh at her and continue my meal. We banter over dinner and refill our glasses and occasionally kiss over the table. Eventually, all the food is gone and I start washing dishes when Jennifer comes up behind me and circles her arms around my waist.

"Hey babe, what are you up to?" I ask.

"Stop putting it off. You have to trust me. I love you," she whispers into my neck before kissing it. I close my eyes for a second and relax, feeling her lips against my neck.

"Okay," I tell her, "I'm ready." I turn around and she kisses me full on the mouth and her hands tangle in my hair as I deepen the kiss. She has already taken off her button down and stands before me in just a tank top and jeans. I finger the hem of the tank and we step apart for a minute to let me pull it off her. She's not wearing a bra, as usual when she comes over, and I take advantage of it, palming her breasts and letting my fingers play with her nipples.

"God, Emily, you make me so wet," JJ breathes before crashing our lips together once more. We both moan into it and I feel Jen tug at the hem of my shirt.

"Let me," I tell her, stepping back. "And I understand, whatever your reaction."

I pull the shirt over my head and then pull off my bra quickly. I know what she sees. She sees the old bullet wound that grazed my side. She sees the wounds from that bad night; one scar curving over my left hip bone and the other trailing down over my right breast, a centimeter from my nipple. I look away. I can't meet her eyes.

"God Em, you're beautiful," I hear her say. My head shoots up. She's joking right?

"Don't be mean," I say, hurt that she would kid about this. Her fingers trace my jaw line and our eyes meet.

"I'm not. You're gorgeous. Yes, you have scars. And one day I want to know all about them. But they only add to your beauty. You are stunning, inside and out. Now, I want to show you how beautiful you are; make you feel it. Okay?"

I can't really believe it, but I nod yes.

We kiss this time, much harder, our tongues battling and our bodies pressed close together. God, I missed the feeling of being with Jennifer; we always fit well together. And God, I love how our breasts press against each other and our legs become crossed with each others.

Gently I push Jayje against the nearest wall and raise my thigh between hers.

"Fuck Em," she moans breathily, riding my leg. "Get these damn pants off me."

I laugh and remove my leg from her to lower her jeans. I do so slowly, caressing her thighs and letting her delicately step out of them. The underwear she dons is black and lacy and I can't help but press my nose to her. Jennifer moans loudly above me, encouraging me to slip her panties off too.

"Please Em," she whines as I tease her thighs.

"What do you want babe?" I question.

"You, in me," she breathes. "Hard. I miss you."

I comply, slipping first one finger, then two, into JJ.

"God you're still so tight," I remark as JJ cries out. I can feel myself getting so wet and I can't help but slip my tongue into her folds and latch onto her clit.

JJ bucks roughly and I hold onto her hips to keep her steady. I keep thrusting in and out and flicking my tongue over her hard bud. I start bending my fingers up, hitting that spot I knew was there and JJ begins pumping hard, moaning, "Yes, Em, don't stop," over and over. She comes hard and tight, yelling my name and when I remove my fingers she gives a final yelp.

I let her fall forward onto me, her breathing still irregular.

"Let's go to my room to finish this," I suggest. She nods, giving me a long kiss.

"God I missed you," she whispers breathily.


	14. Chapter 14

"Emily Elizabeth Prentiss!"

The yell makes me look around frantically. Oh shit.

"Hurry up guys, JJ is coming," I tell the group of skaters around me.

"Chill girl. She can join," one guy with straggly black hair says. Regardless, he passes one lit joint to me as well as a plastic bag filled with others.

"No, she's pissed. But thanks, I'll be back," I tell him, shoving a bills in his hand and taking a quick inhale before passing the joint back.

"What's going on here," JJ asks, her eyes mad.

"Nothing Jayje. I was just leaving," I try to get past her but she blocks my way.

"Danny, are you selling weed to my girlfriend?"

"Um, what? I didn't know you two were together," Danny says slowly. I roll my eyes at him and he shrugs.

"Emily, come on, we're going home," JJ commands.

"Fuck, c'mon Jay. It's just weed. No biggie," I complain.

"Yes it is."

"Have you ever tried it before?"

"No."

"Really?" I ask, shocked. I know she's against drug use, particularly mine, but a lot of kids have at least tried it.

"Yes."

"Oh my god. You need to try it."

"Emily," she scolds.

"Sorry. But honestly, you're not taking this from me. Okay?"

"But drugs are bad," she says sternly.

"There's a difference between heroin and weed," I tell her.

"But…"

"Don't worry. You can't OD on weed. It's better than drinking. Or shooting up. It just calms me down. And this week sucked, so I want to mellow out, okay?"

"Why did this week suck?"

"You know. You saw me have like three panic attacks. My mom, my aunts, my stress, you saw that I kept freaking. I now just want to chill."

"Fine. Whatever," she grudgingly replies.

"You want some?"

"Em," she scolds.

"Sorry sorry. Where are we going?"

"You house?"

"Okay."

We jump in my car and head to my house in silence. I turn up the music a bit and sing along softly and try to ignore the unhappiness radiating off JJ.

"Guess what?" I taunt.

"What?" She replies dryly.

"I have a surprise coming next week," I say, grinning at the thought of it.

"What is it?" She asks, a little more intrigued now.

"You'll have to wait and see," I taunt.

"No fair Em!"

"You'll love it. Or maybe hate it. Just get ready for Wednesday."

"I don't even know what to expect with you," she sighs.

"Are you still mad about the weed?" I ask.

"A bit, yes," she replies honestly.

"I'm sorry. I just want something to take the edge off."

"What happened with your mom?"

"She just doesn't like me much. I'm quite the disappointment you know. And she doesn't like my aunts. And she doesn't like anything. She's gonna visit in a few weeks. Now do you understand why drug use may be positive in this case?"

"The ambassador is visiting? Oh my God. And baby," JJ says, putting her hand on my thigh, "you are so far from a disappointment I don't even know how your mother could say that. I love you."

"I love you too baby. Thank you. And yeah, she's coming. Look out," I laugh with no humor. "Come on though, let's go inside and watch me get baked."

"Still mad."

"Sorry."

"Surprise!" I yell, opening the garage door.

"Oh my God, Em, is that yours? I thought you rode Courtney's old one." Courtney never lets me take it often and never let me take Jen. So it's been a while since I've ridden.

"It sure is mine. Pretty, isn't it?" I say, standing proudly in front of my sleek, black and silver BMW motorcycle.

"I'm in love with a badass," Jayje whispers to herself, walking around my bike slowly. I laugh and go up behind Jen, wrapping my arms around her.

"Wanna go for a ride?"

"Really?"

"Of course. I have a helmet for you and you just have to hold on tight."

"You've driven this one before?"

"This is mine. It's been mine for two years. I drove a lot in Europe," I shrug. I was just happy to have my bike yet. It was my prized possession and I missed it so much when I moved here. But I got my old nanny to get someone to ship it over. And now I'm back.

"Okay let's go now!" JJ says, practically jumping.

"Alright, let me grab my jacket, gloves and the helmets and we'll be good to go," I tell her, starting to grab all of my things.

I help Jen put her helmet on first before swinging my leather jacket on and putting on my gloves and helmet.

"You look so hot," Jen says, her eyes sparkling as she looks me up and down.

"You look pretty good yourself," I say. She does, as always, look so beautiful, even in her jeans and soccer sweatshirt.

"Shut up baby, and take me for a ride," Jen laughs.

"Alright, alright. Let me back out and then you can climb on," I say, climbing onto my motorcycle.

When Jen is set behind me with her arms tight around my waist, I take off. Slow at first, but then I steadily increase the speed when we hit the highway. I missed this. This feeling. I'm flying and can feel the sky and the ground and JJ. There's nothing like this in the world. I pull to a stop in front of a gas station and turn to Jen.

"How ya holding up?"

"This is amazing. I don't even know what to say. This is so cool. Keep going, Em. Please," she begs. And, of course, I do what she wants.

…


	15. Chapter 15

BAU Time. This is a smutty chapter. I don't own CM. Thank you for the reviews, they're great!

Its weird waking up to someone. It's been nine months together and still, it's odd. I'm just laying here, breathing her in. Her sunny skin calms me as I press my lips to her shoulder.

"Hmm?"

"Go back to sleep baby," I whisper. Its three a.m. and we just got off a case. I slept for a few hours, but woke up when images came into my mind.

"It's early Em, why you awake?" she mumbles as she turns to press her front to mine.

"Just couldn't sleep. I'll go watch TV so you can rest," I suggest, but her arms hold me and tighten.

"No, tell me," she demands, her voice sounding much more awake.

"Just, you know the case. I'm fine though," I whisper to her. She gets impossibly closer and our chests rise and fall in sync.

"You hate the ones with child abuse," JJ remarks.

"Everyone does," I sigh.

"But you _really_ hate them," JJ pushes.

"I know. I mean, you know why. I never suffered physically, but emotionally I was, am, pretty fucked. I hate seeing kids that have to deal with that and so much worse. It's like I know their future and what obstacles they'll have," I say into Jennifer's neck before lightly kissing her. She moves onto her back and I lean over her, continuing to kiss her neck.

"You turned out perfectly," she says. I laugh into her neck.

As payback for laughing, she flips me over and straddles me. "I love you, okay. I really do. And I hate that deep down, you hate yourself for your past. You are you, and I wouldn't ever change you," she says, before pressing her lips to mine.

"I love you too Jayje," I whisper against her lips, our forehead pressed together and our eyes locked.

She smiles at me, her sweet, beautiful smile.

….

PRESENT TIME:

It has started pouring during my run. We had gotten home about an hour and a half ago and decided to go for a run to think things through. Donning only a pink sports bra and shorts, I set out around the neighborhood.

And then the rain began. Freezing rain too. But I continued on and did four miles, breathing heavily as I bend over outside our house.

"Babe, you're gonna get sick," I hear yelled from the door. I look up and my eyes meet hers and she's grinning. I laugh and walk towards her and then I notice a shift. She checks me out. I look down at myself to see what she's seeing. I'm soaked in rain, my body shining from it and my skin is a rosy color from the run. Not to mention my nipples are getting harder by the second because of the cold and JJ's eyes practically devouring them.

"Let's get you inside," JJ says, her voice slightly hoarse.

A tingle goes through my body as I slip past Jen in the doorway, deliberately sliding my body against hers. She sucks in a breath but tries to play it cool.

But the she trails her finger down my back and I lose it. I didn't realize how badly I just needed to show my girlfriend love after this case, but I do, I really do.

I spin around and crash my lips to hers. My freezing body envelops hers and we moan into the open mouthed kiss. We break apart for a moment, staring into each other's eyes before I attack her neck, sucking and nipping.

She leans back against the wall, letting me kiss down to where her tank top begins and letting me take the tank off, giving me open access to her beautiful breasts. And I use that access, sliding my tongue between them before sucking one nipple hard in my mouth and circling the other one with my finger.

She thrusts into me, grabbing my hair and pulling me closer. God, she must've been wanting this bad.

"Bedroom?" I ask.

"Quickly," she responds, are eyes connecting. I can see the love and lust reflected in her eyes. And we rush towards the bedroom, stripping on the way.

As Jayje stepped out of her panties, I pick her up and lay her on the bed.

"I missed you," she whispers as I attack her neck again.

"What?" I look up, confused.

"On the case. You weren't, ya know, with me," she whispers. Oh, like, mentally I've been gone. Okay, I understand now.

"I'm sorry baby. Let me make it up to you," I say, breathing against her skin. She smells perfect and its turning me on so much. I continue to her chest and suck and kiss every place on the soft swells before pulling a dusky nipple into my mouth. I hear an intake of breath and look up into her eyes. They are cloudy with lust and need. I can't hold back. I trail down her body, teasing her sides as I go. I finally reach my destination and allow my fingertips to slide once up her slit, her body bucking in agreement.

"Please baby, more," she pants out. She's so wet, so tight, so ready for me, I can't help but push two fingers in fully, causing her body to arch. I will never get tired of this, never stop loving the way her hooded eyes close when I begin to thrust and her mouth opens slightly; never tire of the noise that she emits as I begin to suck on her clit, or the way her hands grasp the bed covers harshly.

She's so close to coming, her thighs are shaking and her body has a thin gleam of sweat covering it. I pull my mouth away for a second to tell her, "I love you Jennifer. Come for me baby, I've got you," before gently nipping at her clit.

She comes hard, her whole body releasing and my name spilling from her lips. I keep my fingers in her, allowing her walls to keep me there as they squeeze. I move up and kiss her on the lips. Her eyes open and meet mine as she kisses back.

"I love you too Emily. So much. I just, ugh, god that was good. You're so good to me. I guess the point I'm making is that I'm in love with you," Jen says, cupping my face.

"You're so cute when you try to talk after a mindblowing orgasm," I laugh.

"Don't flatter yourself," she teases.

"So it wasn't mindblowing?"

"It was mindblowing," she smiles.

"I love you too Jennifer. And I'm so happy to have you."

"I'm not going anywhere," Jennifer promises with a kiss.


End file.
